Who are you when no one is looking?
I read a comment on facebook the other day.
This particular mom had recently gone through a divorce and she said, “People keep telling me to just be me, but I’m not really sure I even know who I am.”
She went on to describe that she had gotten married in her early twenties and quickly became a mom and a cheerleader for her husbands life. She continued to say that she isn’t really even sure who she is or what she would even want to do if she wasn’t doing for everyone around her.
Can anyone relate? She is totally not alone.
This mom was stumped. She didn’t even know how to begin to discover who she was.
I have reflected on this a lot this week. Most of us know the primary answer: I am a child of God.
And though I can confidently say that I know I am a child of God, and this knowledge is very powerful, if I want to progress and keep evolving, the best way forward is to follow my heart and desires.
Some people will say that sounds selfish. I say that is exactly what God intends for me to do.
I believe that because we are children of God, we all have a piece of him in us. If we truly listen to our instincts and desires, they will lead us forward. Our innate instincts and desires are part of how
Unfortunately, many of us have not even picked up our own compass to discover where we would take ourselves. We want to just grab a GPS put in the coordinates and have SIRI tell us where to go. It doesn’t work that when.
So how do you even know who you are? So many of the things we do or think we want are because of how we think other people will see us if we do them. We want to impress, elevate ourselves above, have other people see us as successful. And then if other people see us as successful, then we can believe we have succeeded and gotten what we desire.
We try doing, or not doing certain things because we want other people to see us doing it or think that we like to do it so that we can relate to them and their interests.
You begin to have some resentment and you may not even recognize the resentment. But it will be there.
This begs the question, if no one was going to know what you were doing if no one was going to see it on Instagram or hear about it from someone else; if you knew that no one would think it was silly or outrageous, who would you want to be? What would you want to be doing?
Take a breath.
I am going to give you a couple of questions to get you thinking.
What is something you like to do just for the sake of doing it?
Remember, this is not something you do because of what others will think when you do it. This is something you like to do merely for the sake of doing it.
Maybe its reading, skiing, exercising, making soup, talking to your sister, singing a song, sewing, looking at a magazine.
After you think of one thing you like to do just for the mere sake of doing it, think about how you feel when you are doing it. Get descriptive with yourself. Really dig deep and discover what it is you enjoy about doing this and how you feel when you do.
I find it helpful to grab and pen and paper and just write and think about these things.
I have recently discovered something I like to do just for the sake of doing it. I like to Cross Country Ski. Sure having a great destination would be fun but even if I am not going anywhere, in particular, I love just being outside, moving, breathing in cold air (as long as the rest of my body
Why is this good to know? Because I can evaluate what it is that I like about experiencing these things. I can recognize that I like to have a little bit of a challenge. I love to feel inspired. These are little glimpses into my soul, into my “child of God” compass. If I can learn to search for these feelings in other areas of my life, I start to discover me.
Knowing who we truly are is not something we will just have figured out one day. In fact, I think we want it to be continually evolving, but what drives that personal evolution will be a core set of values that are unique and truly you.