Have you been blinded?
Who has ever compared themselves to someone else? The better question would probably be: Who has NEVER compared themselves with another person? I don’t think that anyone is free from this.
I say “free” because I imagine a life without comparison would be very liberating.
A life where you didn’t look at another marriage, another mother, or another business and think that you are failing compared to them can feel like you are wearing shackles you can’t break. The nag that you just can’t figure it out is always there.
CAUTION: Be careful not to think that there is something wrong with you because you are comparing. That will only make it worse. Just acknowledge that you are comparing and be curious as to why.
I have someone in my life that I constantly compare myself to. I believe she is better at teaching, coaching, and businessing (thats a word right?).
These feelings lead me down a whole other realm of thoughts. Thoughts like, why would Heavenly Father choose her to do this better then me? Did he not think I was good enough?
These thoughts lead me down a rabbit hole of shame because, “What the heck is wrong with me….why would I even go there? That’s ridiculous. I know that no one is better and no one is worse then another.”
Not only am I feeling comparative, I have jealousy and envy creeping in and then shame.
No wonder I have been stopped dead in my tracks and I feel so terrible. None of those feelings are pleasant. Then to try and get rid of those feelings, I turn to food. I overeat and now I feel even worse because I have a stomach ache.
Isn’t this just pleasant. All because I perceived someone else to be doing better at something then me.
Does anyone feel me here? Am I alone in these feelings? For your sake I hope so, but knowing that we are all human, I am going to tell you that I’m sorry that you have to feel this way sometimes. Truly, I am sorry that you experience this.
I had a moment of pure clarity yesterday morning. It was one of those moments when I know that I am being taught by a higher power.
Let me try and explain. It went something like this:
“You know how you think she is doing so much better than you? You know how amazing she is at this? You’re right. You don’t do these things as well as she does.
But you also know that I don’t love her any more or any less then you. I have not given her any more talents then I have given you.
However great you perceive her talents to be, you have that same greatness, just in another area.
Stop spending your time focusing on your inability to be like her. It is taking away from your ability to find and focus on your greatness. You are missing out on you by focusing on her.”
Comparing yourself to others is the thief of peace (or joy as Theodore Roosevelt has said).
Comparing yourself to others will stop you dead in your tracks.
Comparing yourself to others does anything but help you progress; because instead of looking for ways you can become your best self, your brain is too consumed with thoughts of another’s success.
CHECK BACK NEXT WEEK TO LEARN SOME TOOLS FOR MOVING THROUGH COMPARISONS.