Anger With God
As I said my morning prayer, I realized that I have been angry with God. It was a subtle feeling of anger. My relationship with God had felt a little off lately but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why…until that moment.
I dug a little deeper into this feeling and found that the root of my anger was this thought, “He shouldn’t have let me believe so deeply in some things and let me think they were absolutely true?”
I am not going to go into those beliefs. That doesn’t matter. I only want to focus on how I moved from anger.
As I sat with my anger for a while I had a sweet reminder, certainly a holy whispering, “you were once angry with __________. It wasn’t a short-lived anger, but one that you held onto for many years. You were able to move past it. You know exactly how to move past this.”
And I do.
In this experience I was reminded of, I had felt anger for many years. I had allowed a wedge to come between me and this person. I did not feel good and I was done feeling anger. So I sought coaching.
My coach helped me see that I had a choice in how I felt and that I was choosing to feel angry. She asked how I wanted to feel towards this person and I said, “Love. I just want to love them.”
Her reply: “You know that is possible right now. Did you know you can just choose to love them because you just want someone to love? You are choosing to feel angry. Why wouldn’t you want to feel love? It just feels better.”
And then she worked with me to help me know how to start letting go of the anger. I was surprised at how quickly I was able to dump the anger and feel love.
This coaching session was more then three years ago, but I remembered it now as I pondered my current anger toward God. I wanted to create thoughts to help me to feel love.
I reminded myself:
I just want Heavenly Parents to love.
I want the experience of loving them.
It feels amazing to feel love toward Him. The truth is, He doesn’t need me to love Him. I don’t love him for His sake. I need me to love Him. I love Him for my sake.
Sometimes we have been hurt so deeply that we withdraw our love from some people. The only person we hurt is ourselves. They can’t feel our love. Only we can feel our love. When we withhold love, we miss out on that feeling. That amazing feeling of goodness and connection.
Your anger may not be towards God.
Your anger may be towards your husband, ex-husband, child, mother, mother in law, a friend…whomever it is I know it is possible for you to feel love for them.
Some may say, “why would I want to feel love for them. They have hurt me so badly?”
I remind you, your anger toward them does not hurt them! It only hurts you. When you allow yourself to feel angry, you are just hurting yourself over and over again.
End the cycle.
End the anger.
It may seem impossible to feel love for some one, but I know how to start unwinding all the hurt and anger. I know how to help you go from anger to love. Sign up for a free mini coaching session and let me show you.
Don’t wait. Why feel angry longer then you need to?
PS: I want to give photo credit to the amazing Ryan Erickson Photography. He came on our last river trip and his talent to capture the beauty of God’s great earth is amazing.