Last blog post I talked about feelings that I don’t like to feel but that I need to allow in order to achieve what I want to achieve.
Today I want to talk about feelings that I have decided that I am going to feel on purpose.
Before I go on, I want you to take a moment and think of something that your spouse does that makes you crazy. Do you like to feel crazy or annoyed? Maybe there is something you else you rather feel. And maybe there isn’t. But if the feeling is not creating the relationship you would like, I encourage you to find a way to feel differently.
My example below is not about my relationship with my spouse, but it does effect other relationships that I have so I wanted to share it with you.
Let me give you a little background. I am so excited about the coaching tools and skills I have to offer the world. I know they will make a difference in lives. I know they have the power to interrupt the darkness that seems to be lurking all around us. As I work to grow my business, I am completely out of my comfort zone. I have never done anything like this. I have colleagues that are in the same phase of their business’s as me, and sometimes I look at what they are doing and I and compare and despair. I think they are doing better at sharing their message. And rather then learning from them or recognizing that I am right where they are, I almost feel jealous or threatened. I recognize this to be completely ridiculous but it is still there and is totally not useful and will never help me achieve what I want to achieve. Plus I don’t like how it effects my feelings towards them personally. It totally comes from a place of fear and scarcity.
I wanted to take charge and feel — ON PURPOSE. I want to be intentional about how I am going to feel so that I can achieve what I want to achieve and love how I want to love. It is important to be very specific when you are trying to describe what you are feeling or what you want to feel. But I couldn’t find an emotion that really fit what I was after. So I turned to some other languages to help me.
I am happy to say that I found exactly what I was looking for and I want to share this list of “foreign” emotions with you.
- Mudita is a word from Sanskrit and Pali that has no English counterpart. It is: pleasure that comes from delighting in other’s well being.
- Unna is a Norwegian word that means to be happy on someone else’s behalf.
- Hygge is a Danish word (I have a lot of danish ancestory so I’m going to hold tight to this one) for a mood of coziness and comfort with feelings of contentment and wellness (this one is perfect for cold winter days:)
- Aplomb from French origin. It is describing self-confidence or assurance, especially in demanding situations.
How Do I apply this?
When I recognize my fear based feelings creeping in, I think about the feeling I want to feel…whether it’s Mudita or Unna (or whatever you are after), and I am able to find thoughts that will help me feel that way in the moment. I know it sounds simplisitic and thats because it is. But it works. Find the emotions/feelings that you need to achieve and love and then feel them on purpose.
I love my new words. They are working beautifully for me!