Father Time

Oh Father Time!  Why do you have to be so rude?

When my children were starting kindergarten, I had their pictures professionally taken.

On the entry wall of my grandparents home, they had a five year old picture, a senior picture and a wedding picture of all of their 7 children.  I loved that wall.

My parents have done the same thing.

I am doing the same in our home.

When my children were each starting kindergarten, I had their photos professionally taken.  12 years ago, the first picture went up on the wall and was all alone for a quick minute (17 months actually). Three years later, another one followed. The final picture was hung on the wall 15 months after that.

In less then 6 years, all four adorable faces hung on our wall. Oh I love those baby teeth and big beautiful smiles.  I hoped and prayed that the years would go by slowly before I had to think about adding the first senior picture to the wall.

That first senior picture was not only going to throw of the balance of the whole wall, but it was going to throw off the balance of our whole family.  Please Father Time be kind to me.

This morning I spent time with my oldest daughter, taking those pictures.  Taking the picture that is going to throw off the balance of the wall and our family.  Father Time you haven’t been so kind.IMG_2509

I hurt inside. But luckily I know it isn’t the speed of time that hurts. It’s only what I think that hurts.

Feelings don’t just happen to us.  We get into trouble when we think they do.    We are in charge of how we feel…always!!!

All of those feelings come from thoughts.  I may not be able to control Father Time, but I can control my own thoughts when I am intentional about it.

Today I am letting myself feel hurt just a little.  I have even let myself cry.  Today I am embracing the hurt.  I am going to let myself feel all the emotions–on purpose.

Tomorrow I am going to start feeling better–on purpose.

Tomorrow my intentional thoughts will be:

  • Being a mom is the only job I ever wanted, and I am doing exactly what I always wanted to do.  I raised an amazing daughter. Nice work mama!
  • This is what I want for her.  This is why I raised her.
  • Time speeds up in the last days for our benefit. (Matthew 24:22–And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect’s sake those days shall be shortened.) I cling to this thought because it helps me see it as a blessing instead of a curse 🙂
  • I was made for this!
  • Thank you Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother for allowing me to have such a beautiful mortal experience!
  • Thank you Heavenly Father and Mother for allowing me to have 18 of the most amazing years with Mattiekay!  She is pure joy.
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