Unconditional love is possible and feels so much better
As an engaged or newly-wed couple, you are wearing “rose colored glasses.” You think thats just a cute thought but your brain is actually wired that way. Your brain actually gets a hit of dopamine when you kiss, hold hands, have any kind of physical contact.
What the heck does dopamine have to do with marriage?
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward and pleasure center. A hit of dopamine feels good! It causes pleasure. It can either be created unnaturally by using illicit substances, like marijuana or heroin, or by rewarding activities such as eating or kissing.
Human brains also release oxytocin.
Oxytocin is known as the “cuddle hormone” or “love hormone” because it is released when people snuggle or bond socially.
The combination of dopamine and oxytocin is what makes you think about your partner all the time. It also effects the way you look at someone. It helps you look for the good in that person both physically and emotionally.
Unfortunately, with time, we all tend to take off those rose colored glasses and it becomes a little harder to think thoughts that have us loving our spouse unconditionally.
But did you know you can always choose to love unconditionally?
You can put those rose colored glasses on any time you want.
The reality is that we all do this every day.
The person we love more then anyone in the world, says something we interpret as hurtful.
Choosing to love is a choice.
For some reason, we think it feels good to give someone the cold shoulder, or to feel upset with them. But think about how that really feels. It doesn’t feel good! The sweaty palms, the racing heart beat, the tension in our shoulders and chest…why do we choose to feel this way? It just doesn’t make sense!
We think we are hurting our fiance/spouse when we get angry or upset. In actuality, we have no idea what they are even thinking. I hate to tell you, but you are not powerful enough to control how he thinks or feels. The truth is you are only hurting yourself.
I promise it is possible.
It just feels better!