How to never get angry with your man

Blog Series:  10 questions you must ask your fiancé before your wedding day

The real truth about these “Must ask questions” is that you should be asking them of yourself if you really want to find success and lasting results.

Question #5:  What makes you feel loved (remember your supposed to ask your fiancé this)

Is it flowers, touch, compliments, kind gestures, time? What is it that has you feeling loved?

It is going to be different for everyone.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret…you can’t make each other feel loved!

What the what?  Your thinking I’m crazy about now and your saying, “he brought me flowers yesterday and I felt so loved.   How did I get so lucky.  Carnations aren’t my favorite, but honestly, he could bring me any flower and I would be thrilled!”

Guess what, it definitely wasn’t the flowers that made you feel loved.  Flowers do not have that kind power.  And it definitely wasn’t your guy who brought you those flowers that made you feel loved.  He doesn’t have that power either!

It was only what you made the flowers mean that had you feeling all that love!  It was only your thoughts about it!.

Let me show you.

What if he brought you flowers after having a heated argument.  You were so angry that when you looked at those flowers you just thought, “there is no way he can make up for it with these flowers.  I hate bouquets with carnations in them anyway.  You’d think he would figure that out.”

See, same guy bringing you flowers…different thoughts in your mind brought on a different feelings.

You don’t think this is good news, you just want someone to make you feel loved.

But I want you to know that this is fantastic news.

This means, that if it is your thoughts that make you feel love, then it is also your thoughts that make you feel angry and frustrated.

A few months down the road, and the honeymoon phase is starting to wear off and you start to recognize some little things about him that just kind of make you crazy…maybe he never puts his dish in the dishwasher, or he leaves his clothes all over the place..remember, it isn’t HIM!  It’s only your thoughts about Him and the clothes and the dishes that are making you crazy.

Waiting for him to pick up his clothes or put his dishes in the dishwasher is probably never going to happen.  Do you really want to go throughout your life feeling frustrated about that?

There is so much hope in realizing that you get to control how you feel about it.

My suggestion…don’t pick up those clothes or put those dishes in the dishwasher unless you can do it from a place of love and without frustration.  Doing it from a place of frustration will only lead to resentment.  If you can’t dot it from a place of love, then don’t do it.  You don’t have to.  You have a choice in what you think and in what you do. Doing it from a place of frustration will only lead to resentment.

Need a little help feeling the love and reducing some of that anger and frustration with anyone in your life?  I offer two free mini sessions a week…first come first serve!  Click the link below to schedule.  All sessions are private and done over the phone.

Heather Rackham Coaching-5

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