What to do if your husband won’t take out the trash

This is part two of my 10 day series:  10 questions you must ask your fiancé before your wedding day!

These are the questions you see floating around on Pinterest of things you must do.  Of all the things I can think of that you MUST DO, lets save you some time and look at them from a different point of view.

Question #2:  What are your expectations for how the household will be maintained?

This question could be a breeding ground for all sorts of frustration in a marriage.

We all come to a marriage with certain beliefs of how things are done…just because that is how it was done in the home we grew up in.

One person may assume that the guy will always take out the trash because that is what their dad did.  When new hubby doesn’t even notice it needs to be done, wifey suddenly makes it mean that he is a slob and isn’t responsible.  She may even go so far as to make it mean that he doesn’t love her.

In hubby’s mind, his mom always took out the trash.  Why in the world is his wife never doing it?  She must be lazy.  I guarantee that your new hubby doesn’t think about this situation near as much as you do.  Anywhooo……

Household expectations don’t just start and stop with trash.  The list is very extensive…

dishes

dinner

cleaning toilets

mowing the lawn

getting the oil changed in the cars

grocery shopping

paying the bills

I mean it is an endless list. If you actually figure all this out before your wedding day…big props for you!

But guess what?  Thats ok.  There is only one thing you need to do…

Whether hubby does something or not (even if you think he should)…the key is to not make it mean anything!!  You can’t make it mean that he is lazy, or that he doesn’t value you or your time.

You definitely can’t keep score…”I’ve cleaned the toilets more then you.”

If your goal is to always try and do more then your spouse, you will never be disappointed.  

Do you really have to believe that husbands should cook dinner because your dad was the chef in your home?

Do you really have to believe that the wife should do all the laundry?

Challenge all your beliefs!  Start with you, not him!

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