The secret to not hurting anyones feelings while planning your wedding
Oh the stress of wedding plans.
It doesn’t matter who you are, it’s almost certain that at some point in the process, you will feel stressed out about something.
A good majority of that stress can come from listening to the opinions of other people.
Your mother, your fiancé, your fiancé’s mother, your sister, your friends…they all have an opinion and often times are not to shy about sharing it—whether you asked for it or not.
You are a nice person. You don’t like to hurt other people’s feelings and the tension that arises doesn’t feel very good.
Let me teach you something that will change this whole experience….
No matter what you do or say, you can not hurt anyone’s feelings. PERIOD!
Our feelings are only created by our thoughts. You don’t have the power to control the thoughts of anyone. Therefore, you don’t have the power to control the feelings of anyone. You are not that powerful.
The thought: “I can’t make a decision without causing a problem or hurting the feelings of _________” (fill in the name) is not a thought that will serve you very well as you go about this wedding planning process. First because it isn’t possible to hurt anyones feelings and second, it will keep you from taking action and making decisions.
You must decide that you will make decisions based upon what is best for your and your fiancé. You can’t worry about the feelings of others because you have no control over their feelings. What you think they are feeling is all just a story you have created in your brain. Maintain control of the one person you do have control over…YOU! Your thoughts and your feelings.
Some may suggest that taking such a perspective is selfish. I want to offer that this perspective is what makes it possible to be the genuinely kind and loving person that you are.
Let me show you. When you don’t put pressure on yourself to please everyone, then you are genuinely able to listen to other people and thank them for loving you enough to want to help you. You can explain how much you love them and their opinions and you will make the decision that is best for you.
This mindset frees you to be open to the thoughts and suggestions of others. You really listen and love because you truly want to make the decisions that is best for you not what is best for someone else. You are coming from a place of love for you and for them. That feels so much better!