Why my roller coaster engagement was perfect for me
If you caught my last post, you read that I spent most of my engagement with very harmful thoughts running around in my brain.
Every single day I battled thoughts like—
“I can’t go through with my wedding.”
“it is way to scary to make this commitment.”
“eternity is such a long time.”
I look back now and could have a lot of regrets about it.
I did not allow myself to be excited about my wedding at all.
I did not enjoy a single moment of the planning.
Well, I made my wedding dress and I found that some-what therapeutic because I love fabric so much. But that was about the only part of the process that I enjoyed.
Now when I go to a wedding reception, I find myself wishing I could go back and redo it.
I wasted so much time worrying during our engagement that I did not enjoy it.
But, I have no control of the past. It has happened and I can’t change it. Now it only exists in my mind.
I get to choose how I am going to feel about it.
Regretting, wanting a redo,or thinking that I wasted time is not productive for me at all.
Nope, instead, I choose to believe that my past is exactly as it was supposed to be.
I was supposed to have that experience.
I needed that roller coaster engagement experience so that I could gain the perfect education I need in this life. I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason.
Now I love my engagement story!
It was perfect for me! My past is perfect for me!