Why my roller coaster engagement was perfect for me

If you caught my last post, you read that I spent most of my engagement with very harmful thoughts running around in my brain.

Every single day I battled thoughts like—

“I can’t go through with my wedding.”

“it is way to scary to make this commitment.”

“eternity is such a long time.”

I look back now and could have a lot of regrets about it.

I did not allow myself to be excited about my wedding at all.

I did not enjoy a single moment of the planning.

Well, I made my wedding dress and I found that some-what therapeutic because I love fabric so much.  But that was about the only part of the process that I enjoyed.

Now when I go to a wedding reception, I find myself wishing I could go back and redo it.

I wasted so much time worrying during our engagement that I did not enjoy it.

But, I have no control of the past.  It has happened and I can’t change it.  Now it only exists in my mind.

I get to choose how I am going to feel about it.

Regretting, wanting a redo,or thinking that I wasted time is not productive for me at all.

Nope, instead, I choose to believe that my past is exactly as it was supposed to be.

I was supposed to have that experience.

I needed that roller coaster engagement experience so that I could gain the perfect education I need in this life.  I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason.

Now I love my engagement story!

It was perfect for me!  My past is perfect for me!